We often tend to desperately hang on to our marriages for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it is for the sake of the family, often owing to a fear of facing emotional insecurity and sometimes because of getting habitual to our lousy situation. Staying married and raising a family is in no way an easy job. It demands a lot of patience, hard work and compromises. Hence any decision for a divorce should unexceptionally be based on a realistic evaluation of the concerned individual’s marital affairs. A divorce certainly creates some tough situations, at least in the short run. Yet, it is not that a divorce always ends in pain and misery. Though it may sound hackneyed, still it holds true that in some cases, a divorce may undoubtedly lead to the beginning of a new life, with new hopes and possibilities. It is for an individual to decide whether his/her current marital circumstances call for a divorce or not and where to draw the line. However, it will be pragmatic to discuss a few scenarios, which justify ones opting for a divorce, to all intents and purposes.

Infringement of Basic Rights

If you feel that the actions and behaviour of your spouse amounts to an infringement on your cardinal rights as a human being, you have every reason to seek a divorce. As an individual, you have the right to feel safe at your home and should have no fear of the people living with you. You have the right to pursue a career, to have an active social life and to have emotional and financial freedom. You have the right over your body and the right to say no. As a person; you have the right to make your own decisions. If your spouse, in some way infringes on your rights and hampers your mental and physical well being, you should certainly decide in favour of a divorce.

Marital Abuse

If your married life is marred by abuse and violence, you have every reason to seek redressal through appropriate means. Abuse often comes in a package loaded with physical, sexual, financial and emotional abuse. If you are facing this situation, it is vital that you make an attempt to get out of this, while it is possible to do so. The chances are that your spouse may use his/her authority over you to subjugate you to a state of mental indecision and utter confusion.

Adultery

If your spouse is having an extramarital affair with somebody and is adamantly denying or justifying his act, despite repeated attempts at reconciliation and communication by you, then there is no fun in staying in such a relationship. Adultery is your spouse’s way of coming to terms with his/her deficiencies and you have no obligation to suffer because of it.

Neglect of Marital Duties

If your spouse is negligent of his/her financial, emotional and social duties as a life partner and as a parent, it may make things quiet tough for you. Try to communicate with your spouse and seek the possible reasons for his/her delinquency. If you come to the conclusion that everything is fine with your spouse, so far as his financial and emotional state is concerned, and still he/she chooses to be irresponsible, then perhaps it is time to call it a day.

Irreconcilable Differences

If you and your spouse harbour no feeling of ill will or hatred towards each other but believe that the relationship between you two has died a long time back. You and your spouse share nothing in common and have simply drifted apart over the years. Perhaps you and your spouse have some serious differences, which make it impossible for you two to live together as husband and wife, you may seek a divorce. But, do remember that even perfectly committed and ideally compatible spouses also have certain genuinely irreconcilable differences and it is normal to be different. There exists a strong possibility that you two may be able to reinvent your relationship with a little effort.

Author: James Walsh